Sometimes families are complicated! And some members of mine do fall under this category!

We have a small family, and my Aunt stole money from my sister and I, when my grandmother died. So I decided to confront her about it, thinking this was a whole misunderstanding and everything would be settled quickly. How could anyone have bad intentions here: we were not close, but we all loved each other! We are a family!

Well it did not quite happen as I expected. In her very cold and polite way, my Aunt told me that my grandmother gave her everything on her deathbed. I was literally in shock!! And knowing my grandmother, I could not believe it either!
I quickly checked how I felt and my whole body was tense! I also felt that this conversation did not deserve to end here! For my grandmother, for my sister, for myself: I could not just take it. I told my Ego it was time to step up and protect ourselves! I stood up and while walking in the room (as I could not sit still!), I asked my Aunt to tell me precisely what my grandmother had said. She could not remember the exact words she said, but - and I cut her there.
I told her she could not remember because it had never existed. Or that if it did, then clearly my grandmother was no longer lucid. And that she had to give us back our share. My Aunt looked at me and stayed with her story. It felt that she had convinced herself with it. It had to be true. She had gone too far with her lie. I called her a thief, and that it would follow her until she would die. That my grandmother would wait for her on the other side, and read her the riot act. That money you steal is a curse, and can only bring bad things in your life. Anything I could find to hurt her, I said!! It also helped me feel a bit better - though I had not been able to change a dot. I still had to leave the house with empty hands. But at least I tried my best, and I did not let her go away that easily with it!!

Still, I kept blaming myself for not getting the money back. My sister and I, our children - everyone would have benefitted from it. It just was not fair! Plus they did not need the money: they were already wealthy! And now I had to live with it. And then it struck me: what is it that I have, and my Aunt doesn’t? I didn’t have the money, but we were a family with my sister and my Dad. We care for one another, and that has no price! My Aunt, on the other hand, was not close to her children. And she had lost us with this episode. She had chosen money over her family. It just felt sad.
Why did my Aunt choose money over me? Because I guess she felt money was more important. Maybe she also felt money was safer, as it would be here - while you can’t always trust people.
That was a lot of hypothesis…. But then why did I feel sad? Because she did not love me enough to choose me over money, and be fair to me.
And what did that imply? That she did not care if I would, or not, have a good life.
And why is it sad? Because one should always choose people over money, in particular if it is your own family. I loved my Aunt. I looked up for her: she was the one who succeeded in life!
And what did that mean? That she left all her values behind as she succeeded. That success is about taking. Success is about manipulating and abusing people.
And what does that mean? That I do not want money or success, because else I will become like her.
And what is it to be like her? You lose your heart. Money is not compatible with being wholehearted! It is either one, or the other: you cannot have both!
I realized that my throat was very dry and felt narrow. Like someone was strangling me, and preventing me from speaking. That I had to swallow what was happening to me, but I couldn’t. It was just stuck there: I could not digest it. I had to figure out what was there to learn for me, else it would stay here!

It came to mind that my Aunt was not who I thought she was. I always saw her as a successful sort of super hero! I wanted to be like her, as a kid! I just realized who she really was: someone who would never have enough. That was so scared of missing, that she would go as far as lying about her Mum to have a little more money. She was not the grand hero I had pictured: she was a scared person, playing to be queen. And I no longer wanted to be her.

Then who do I want to be? I do not need to be anybody else. I am gold already. I have never missed, and I will not miss either. I will earn my money honestly. And I am made of gold, because I have people who loved me dearly, and I never doubt their love: my grandmother, my Dad, my sister, my Mum - they all loved me. Never would they even think of choosing money over me. My Aunt was an exception, not the rule. I had been and still am, loved. And that, my Aunt could not take it away.

I felt the weight in my throat dropping to my stomach. It was like I had finally digested a big event in my life. My Cold Case was gone, as I discovered that I did not need to earn that money back, nor to envy my Aunt for it. I already am rich as I am, thanks to all what my family gave me - and that is priceless. I choose the people I love, and they choose me.